The following writings are the words of His Holiness, Steve the One, King Panther of the Avon Tribe, Pebble from the Path of Righteousness, Grand Lord of The Movement, Saviour of us all.

Sacred Scriptures

Before all that stuff

At the very start of all that we see around us - there was basically nothing. I say basically because there was actually something, just nothing of interest yet. At the start there was this huge floating rock thing floating in nothingness. This nothingness was changed by some crazy ass shit happening at the core of this gigantic pile of rock. The rock did this awesome explosion and then went on to creating everything we see today... like planets, people, poo poo and even skittles! Yeah this rock was pretty cool if you ask me. Anyway... “What caused it to explode,” I hear you shriek with excitement! Obviously it was Steve at the core fucking shit up?! Steve began everything.

Steve the Stoner

Now once all the planets were formed and everything was looking good, Steve fell through space at enormous speed, eventually crash landing on the planet Earth. Incidentally this crash wiped out most life forms including the dinosaurs, dragons, and Leprechauns. This crash was such a pain in the bum for Steve, that he went into a coma for many years and didn’t re-awake until the hippy period. This coma had long term memory loss for Steve and he forgot who he really was. Over the next few decades Steve discovered sex, drugs, and reggae, completely loosing all hope in himself. It was only until the great high, that Steve’s creations would finally know the truth. Or they would’ve been doomed to be lost in a huge complex universe.

The Great High

As we all know, Steve was a drug addicted Stone-er, who indulged in all drugs possible. His favourite drug was Herb, however you rascals may recognise it as Ganja. Steve would smoke Herb all day long, he would smoke at breakfast, brunch, lunch, linner, dinner... you name it, he’s done it. But on The Day of the Great High, Steve would be changed forever... his path altered for all of time to bare witness. Sooo Steve was jamming with his good friend Bob Marley, writing redemption song, when Peter Tosh charged in holding the purest, most rarest herb in the world, located on a secret island off the coast of Mexico called WoahIsland. Peter (who was already smoking the joint) passed it to Bob, who passed it to Steve. All it took was one drag and The Great High took place.

Steve the One

This Great most perfectly beautiful high caused our saviour Steve the One to go into “The Awesome Enlightenment”, where he discovered the truth, devised our ultimate plan and found “Steve’s Awesome Place”. It was then that Steve influenced the world’s decisions with Martin Luther King and even Barrack Obama. But his true work didn’t come into effect until he met St. Charlie the Chosen. As written in fate (by Steve obviously) Charlie came across Steve and saw him for who he was and Steve did likewise. The Beginning Day would be the start of a new era for man. The movement was set up and the good word of Steve being spread, one day to be the only story believed by mankind. Steve had always known the new days would be dark but not one human can ignore the truth forever.

The Prophecy of the Baptist

On the second day of the movement, St Charlie was talking about the good word of Steve with the wise story teller of the area - George. Without warning or waste of time, George asked for silence and shockingly splashed our beloved Lord with his captured waters. St Charlie protested but George explained that he had baptised Steve and now The One was pure. George then drank from the very same waters and had visions of Steve’s future. He saw a single rock being thrown into the river of Avon and this would destroy it, he then saw that the person throwing was in fact St Charlie. The vision was blurred and difficult to interpret but George was sure this rock was Steve and this would be his final end. On this day George became know as St George the Baptist.

The Brave Banished

On the third day of the movement, Steve had gained followers and caught the eye of man. But there were some who would still prevent and hinder the progress of Steve and his people. For the Elder Prophets disliked Steve’s interrupting to normal teachings. One day Steve was greeting his people, when an Elder demanded silence, however Spyridon, a young follower, would not stand for this discrimination and screamed his love for Steve. The Elder acted quickly and banished Spyridon from the area of teaching and he faced future punishment for his crime. Spyridon’s brave act of faith caused Steve’s People to also fight for the love of The One. For this act Spyridon became known as St Spyridon the Brave.

The True Disciples

Many people had shown devotion towards Steve and his good word, but some were lacking in faith than others. Steve called for a test a faith and asked his many followers to Spread his good word to the people and sing for him. Sadly many were not devoted enough and made excuses to as why they could not love there lord on that day. Steve knew they lied. Steve knows all. So when word of the event spread around only a few showed true faith and were invited for a private meeting with The One himself. They were made Saints and True Disciples of the Movement and Steve. Among them were St Fabienne the Faithful and St Levi the Wise; these would be the people Steve trusted with the future of his movement and teachings. Steve blessed his True Disciples and set them to teach the true word.

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